An Anonymous Journal

Gosh, we’ve been doing so well. Today we leave for our family vacation, which is super exciting. The one thing to consider, though, is that travelling with a 2 and 3 year old is not an easy task.

We had a bit of a nightmare journey once when we had both made the foolish decision to have a big night out the night before flying home. We promised ourselves this wouldn’t happen again. It’s not worth the pain we feel the next day, being half present with two overly stimulated and tired toddlers on planes, trains and automobiles.

So yesterday we were supposed to pack together for the afternoon. Instead of doing that, husband spent some time in town at the pub with his mates. Didn’t tell me about it, of course. This meant he barely did much at all at home because he didn’t have time.

To pick up the slack his pub adventure left behind, I stopped working early (leaving two big projects unfinished because there just wasn’t enough time). Then I worked feverishly to catch us up, on my own of course.

Eventually managed to get the basic packing done for the kids and we both settled the kids for sleep. Then I needed to pack my things. I was annoyed by husbands lack of contribution, but this is pretty ordinary so I wasn’t furious or anything.

Then I asked if he’d seen my laptop bag. His response INFURIATED me. He was shitfaced, his speech was slurred, and I could see he had finished his bottle of whiskey and most of a bottle of wine in the time I’d been running around the house.

Now, here I am, woefully underprepared for the trip and exhausted before it even begins.

I’m just so tired. He lives in this world where he knows he can take his foot off of the gas and it’s okay. Some other entity randomly pops down and fills in the gaps. It’s just exhausting being that person.

What I wouldn’t give to know I could leave one major project with him and it would be finished properly and in its entirety. But I know that’s just a dream. He’ll always cut corners and leave it unfinished – because why bother doing it properly when someone else is always picking up your slack?